It's been a while since I've written anything for my blog. I would promise to write more but I don't want to lie and I am not sure when the mood will hit me. I'm not a disciplined writer as are some of my friends, whom I admire, but I do love to write when inspiration comes. I've missed a few opportunities over the past couple of months but held off because of personal battles within myself. But the past couple of days have been filled with moments of God clearly trying to gain my attention and teach me valuable lessons.
I don't know about you or how you think or what struggles you face. Maybe I'm the only one who fights a daily battle within myself between who I want to be and who I was created to be. Yesterday I had the privilege of spending some time alone with The One True God and really diving into His Word and took time to actually Listen for His voice. I'll admit, with much embarrassment, that often I read His Word and listen to MY thoughts and desires instead of what HE is trying to say. We can sometimes take Scripture and intentionally find what will make us feel better about who we are instead of seeing how God wants to make us better. Let's face it, if we can never see and confess sin in our lives then we cannot receive the forgiveness needed for that sin. I love that God loves me and sees me as valuable but I also love that He points out what is wrong, convicts me and helps me to become better.
For a while now I have not had peace in my life. I keep praying and serving and trying to do the right thing, yet peace seems to elude me. I know very well that this should Not be so. Peace is one of the Fruits of the Spirit that we, those whom the Holy Spirit indwells, should produce. (Gal. 5:22) All 9 of the Fruits of the Spirit are in direct contrast with the works of the flesh talked about verses 19-21 of Galatians 5. But for now I am focusing on one piece of fruit which I need in my life; Peace. Jesus speaking to his disciples said in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." HIS Peace, that's what I'm seeking. That's what I need.
Here's what I've been learning, again. When I am focused on Me and My Selfish Desires, I don't have real peace in my life. When I am focused on Christ and His Desires for My Life, Peace is abundant in my life. I'm guilty of trying to have my cake and eat it too. (I've never understood that statement because if it's my cake why shouldn't I eat it, but you all understand the intent.) I've been trying to walk with God while still chasing after things that I thought were Good instead of following after the things that are Best. Often I find myself worrying about things instead of Trusting God and that does not lead to peace; it leads to frustration. Jesus said in Matthew 6:32-33, "For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." We are told in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." People love to quote this verse to say they can have whatever they want, but both of these passages teach us that our needs and desires are met when we are focused on our relationship with God. When we delight in Him our desires change to meet His desires because He desires what is best for us. When we seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, he gives us our needs, which leads to peace and satisfaction.
I think it can all be summed up by Philippians 4:6-8, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
Instead of Worry, Pray and always focus on what is true, noble, just, pure and lovely. Often we focus on the things that sparkle and catch our eye instead of on what God is trying to use to make us better and to bring us peace. I've come to realize, over the past couple of days, that I've been focused on seeking the shinny diamond that will bring temporary and instant happiness instead of the nuggets of Gold that will lead to lasting satisfaction. You know, the greener grass syndrome that makes us believe what we have is not good enough. I am now on a new quest; a quest for peace, a quest for God's Best in my life instead of what my feeble mind thinks is good. He's done a lot in my life to always draw me to Himself and I somehow seem to find a way to mess it up, and every single time I mess up it's because I was focused on My Selfish Desires instead of His Perfect Plan. True peace only comes from a close, intimate, continuous relationship with the One True God and His Son, and I am now Pursuing Perpetual Peace.
