Travel Like Tarzan

When I was a boy I loved watching Tarzan movies. There has never been a Tarzan to measure up to Johnny Weissmuller, who was the original and also a 5-time Olympic gold-medalist swimmer. I used to love to watch him call the animals, swim across the river in fast speed, and fly through the jungle as he swung from vine to vine. No one could get through the jungle faster than Tarzan. 

Back in the day, way before they built the new high school in Olive Branch, there used to be some vines around a creek on that land. We would go over there as kids and swing from one side of the creek to the other. Of course I would yell the Tarzan yell until my sister would threaten to beat me up if I didn't shut up. It was so much fun for us and we even got our Mom to swing across once, talk about funny. I loved swinging on those vines and it didn't matter that we didn't really go very far, it felt like I was flying.

The difference was that I would always swing across the creek and land on the ground. I never was able to swing from one vine to the next and keep going. Tarzan... Now Tarzan was the man! He would grab a vine from high up in the tree and swing to the next and to the next and so on until he landed where he needed to be. Maybe Johnny, in the '30s and '40s couldn't do flips like the cartoon Tarzan, but he was really impressive  in his travels through the jungle. Always arriving just in time, at just the right place, to save the day. 

In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul says, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I was reminded last night that in order to move forward to where you want and need to be, you have to let go of the past. Had Tarzan not let go of one vine as he grabbed the next he would have come to a sudden, and probably painful, stop. If he had held on to the first vine without reaching out to the next, he would have simply returned to a place behind him and eventually stopped in mid-air with no where to go and no way to get moving again other than falling to the ground. It was very important that he grab the next vine as well as let go of the vine that had so faithfully gotten him this far. Any other act would end in disappointment or even catastrophe. 

Trying new things is not a problem for me. Starting a new adventure is fun and exciting. The only thing that holds me back from moving on from one adventure to the next is simply funding and the love I have for my family that requires me to actually make an income and provide food and other needs. I love traveling. I love experiencing new locations, peoples, foods and cultures. I love taking on new tasks that seem difficult. The excitement of the new is motivating and exhilarating to me. But I have realized that as much as I love going into something new, I have problems letting go of certain things in the past. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I am learning that some things that we want to hold on to are really holding us back, keeping us from becoming what we should be or from going where we need to go. 

This morning Beth Moore tweeted, "If God has pulled us from something recently - something we wanted & thought was good - He may have plucked us from a net. Trust & thank Him" That spoke to me in a big way. Sometimes even the good things of the past can hold us back. Sometimes what we view as good is actually a hindrance to what is best. I know for me, I must to let go of the vine that brought me here, regardless of how comfortable it is or how much I want to hold on to it, and grab hold of the vine that is before me that will take me to the destination where I am most needed; the place I need most. Reaching out to the next vine is scary, but once the journey is complete, it will have been worth it all. It's time to Travel like Tarzan!!

The Past, The Present and The Promise

This morning on Facebook, I saw this quote from Dave Ramsey on the wall of a friend. It has been occupying my thoughts ever sense. I keep going back to read it and thinking about where I am in life, where I've been and where I'm headed. 

"Be Proud of what you do, if you aren't, then change something!" Sounds simple enough doesn't it? 

A few months ago a teenage girl asked me what my job was. I told her that I'm a Quality Manager. She asked if I sit at a desk a lot to which I replied, "Not all of the time but yes, much of the time." I was then challenged on why I work this job. Why don't I do something outside or something that would help people or make life more enjoyable? My immediate thought was, "One day you'll understand when you have to pay the bills." But I tried to justify and explain why I do what I do as an occupation. However, it was difficult because I knew my job was nothing more than a job for me. Her questions have haunted me ever since. I have not been happy with or proud of what I do. Then today I read this quote which brought it all back.

We tell our children that they can achieve anything. They can be anything they set their minds to be. Then we often squash their dreams by telling them how difficult it will be should they choose certain paths. We tell them to "Think Hard" and to choose a career that will provide for their future families and one that can be mapped out with the proper college degree and post-graduate degree, etc. How often do we tell them to choose a career path that will make them happy? One that will bring them satisfaction and pride? Believe me I understand the need for money, but I've also learned the hard way that the amount of money you earn has nothing to do with happiness because you can use it wisely and be content or use it foolishly and be miserable regardless of the amount.  

I had the great privilege of being a Pastor to local churches for 10 years. As a young man, when I told my Pastor that I felt God was calling me into the Ministry he warned me that it would be difficult and he let me know that if a person can be content and happy doing anything other than Ministry as a profession, he should do it. I felt that I had no choice but to become a Pastor. It was my calling, my desire, my passion. Sure it was hard at times, but it ended up that the ministry was not what knocked me down it was my own weakness and taking my eyes off of the goal and off of Christ. 

After resigning as Pastor I went from job to job trying to find something that I could do well and that would bring contentment to me. I assumed God was through with me as far as full-time service but I still served in the local church, taught Sunday School and helped in other ministries. If I were not going to provide for my family through ministry I was at least going to be faithful to serve as a volunteer in any way God would allow. The occupation where I found the most success was as a Quality Manager in the Medical Device Industry. I never felt it was my calling, but I learned it quickly and was rising up somewhat in the industry and  had given in to the idea that this was my lot in life. Then something amazing and totally unexpected happened. My wife and I went on a one week mission trip to Nicaragua. 

We couldn't afford this trip but felt led to go and true to His Word, God provided what we needed. That one week changed my life. I had not planned to tell my life's story here so I'll shorten it by saying within less than a year my wife and I had been approved to become missionaries to Nicaragua. What an amazing God we serve! I had given up all hope of ever being a missionary long before this time. When I least expected it, God showed up, gave me some awesome opportunities and before you know it, we're in Costa Rica learning Spanish and then in Nicaragua doing what I believe to be the greatest job on earth. I, Dwyndl Nelms, was an actual , full-time, living in a different country, speaking a different language, spending time helping people, working long hours and loving every minute of it, International Missionary!!! It was almost too good to be true.

Once again, after some time, I took my eye off of the goal, off of my Lord and I found myself going through the darkest, saddest, most depressing time of my life. I left Nicaragua with my head hung low and less than a year later I was divorced from my wife and I was running from God faster and more fierce than I had ever run away in my life. I still tried to hang on to a certain appearance for the sake of family and friends who once believed in me, but I had given up on myself. I felt un-useable, unforgivable and unlovable. I had taught many people through the years that God's love never fails and He is always ready to forgive and restore, but in my mind that was not true for me. I knew my heart. I knew my failures. I knew I didn't deserve another chance. Not to mention I had Christian Leaders whom I trusted tell me that I was done. I had brought disgrace to my family, my church, my mission board, my Christian Family and worse of all, to my God who had loved me, redeemed me, gave His Son for me and had called me to serve Him. 

A little over a year ago, my son talked me into attending a worship service at a local church he had been attending on Wednesday nights. I wasn't impressed at first, other than the friendliness of several of the members, but I had no desire to be in church and felt very uncomfortable sitting through a worship service. I went for my kids and I am so glad I did. In a short amount of time the Youth Pastor became the Lead Pastor and God used him to speak to me in a very clear and powerful way. I finally repented, made a new commitment to Christ and began to grow again in my relationship with Him. I can't say I've been perfect, but what a difference a year makes. I'm married again to the same wife I had divorced. My whole family is active and serving in the church and God is steadily teaching me new things as He challenges me with new circumstances and people in my life. 

Well, I've talked about my past and some of the present but let me touch on my present job and where I'm headed in the future. I once was a visionary. I looked ahead at where I wanted to be and had big dreams, now I just live day to day and try to survive in the state where I have felt stuck. My job is OK, but it's just a job. How can it begin to compare to the incredible satisfaction and joy of serving God and people as a Missionary? My volunteer service at church is very rewarding and I look forward to where our church is headed. Some areas of my life are good, others are in total disarray and I have no clue what will happen in the coming weeks or months. But I am finding contentment in the fact that God is charge and I am not. When I went to Nicaragua for the first time I would have never guessed that God would give me the great honor of living in, and loving the people of, that wonderful place. I had no idea what He was up to nor do I know now exactly what He has planned now. He told Abram to "Go... to the land that I will show you." (Gen. 12:1) No explanation, no map, just "Go." I am finally, yet slowly, learning what Paul tried to teach the church in Philippi when he said, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation," (4:13).

What about the quote? "Be proud of what you do. If you aren't, then change something!" Well, I think it's time to make some changes. I don't have all of the answers yet, but I know what it's like to live my dream and I know what it's like to simply endure. I've let my past failures and the fear of what others might say keep me from chasing dreams and I don't want my sons learning from me that you shouldn't go after your dreams. There are many stories of people who found success late in life; I'm in my 40's starting over. I am persuaded that it's not too late and God still has a purpose for me. I am declaring Jeremiah 29:11 as a verse for my life, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And for those who believe that God can forgive, restore and still change lives; I'm asking you to pray with me and for me that He will give me wisdom, guidance and courage to simply follow His plan and stop trusting in my own. I don't know how long it will take, where this journey will lead or what this purpose will look like, but I'm going to the land that He will show me. The Past won't stop me, the Present will prepare me and His Promise will guarantee that the future will be something I, and He, can be proud of. 



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“Be not the slave of your own past - plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t Take It Away!

Reaching out to take a chance when fear has gripped your soul
You overcome and fill with pride as you've change to become bold
Never have you been so brave, no one thought you would step out
The world you’re showing what’s inside while most will watch with doubt
To fulfill your dream, the time has come, nothing can deter
With confidence take the final step, then deafening silence heard
Swiftly and brutal confidence flees as fear his muscles flex
Hope lies bleeding, faith now fleeting, worry speaks, “What’s next?”
So long it took to build the strength to act upon your dreams
When one you trust takes hope away, it’s gone in just a blink.

The Past

What I'm writing about today is not new. Many quotes, sermons, motivational talks and books have been written about this subject and I realize that I "Should" have this down by now. Heck, I've even preached some pretty good sermons on this subject and had people tell me how much it helped them, yet I'm striving to learn and apply this again, today; Dealing with the Past.

I wrote a poem years ago after going through a difficult time and I still bring it up every once in a while but I'm not sure it conveys what I think it should. It is dark and depressing instead of bright and encouraging. But I'm still going to share it with you: :)

It comes and goes no warning to give

It will haunt you with the truth

It spins you around, turns you upside down

Leaves you begging for something new

When it's ended you think, it's gone

But only 'til remembrance comes

Will you be free from all who see

These things which you have done

If it's truly thrown into a bottomless pit

And becomes a forgotten task

How does it return, inside you burn

This thing we call our past.

The past can be harsh or it can be our greatest teacher. The difference comes from out attitude and outlook. The Apostle Paul said in his letter to the Philippians "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Phil 3:13-14) I don't know about you, but for me the forgetting part is difficult at times. I think the idea is to keep moving forward regardless of past circumstances. Paul did some pretty bad stuff before meeting Christ and he went through some pretty scary stuff while following Christ, but he kept moving forward.

The Bible also tells us to remember the past. Speaking to the Church in Ephesus, Jesus said, "Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." (Rev 2:5) One lesson here is to help us not to continue making the same mistakes. Remember how good it can be when you are walking with Christ. Remember the lessons learned and do the good things that make a difference. Memory can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you allow it to affect you.

Lately I've found myself dwelling in the past and what might have been. I can see many things from my past that should teach me and guide me to be better. There are also things in past that make me cringe with embarrassment. I have lost things that I would love to have back; people, opportunities, possessions, etc., but they are all in the past and I don't know if those things would help or hinder my success in the future.

Sometimes we lose what we value as important but regardless of how great it was, when it’s gone, it’s gone. We then have to decide if we will dwell on the loss of the past or make the best of what we have while striving for what awaits us. Maybe there’s something better than what we thought was the best, if we don't miss it while dreaming about what's lost. Maybe what we have is better than what we lost but we are too distracted to notice how great it is. Maybe what was lost was not a great as we remember it. Regardless, the past is the past, we should learn from the lessons of the past, forget the useless things of the past and head into the future with expectation and determination that the greatness, or defeats, of the past will not keep us from the greatness, and successes, of what is yet to come. 

Yesterday I spent the day reflecting on the past and perceptions of the negatives that raced through my mind. This morning I woke up with a new desire to grab the future and make it better than the past. What will your tomorrow be? Mine is filled with possibilities and promises of a faithful God. So is yours if you'll look. Let's take on the future, leaving the past in the past. I know it's an old saying but when the enemy tries to remind us of past failures, let's remind him of his future and remember that our future is bright and filled with Hope!

God Bless!

.

The Reunion

This is a short story I wrote in 1996 for an Advanced Creative Writing Class. I see some errors but I still like it. I hope you enjoy. Leave me a comment on here or Facebook and follow my blog.

The Reunion

by,

Dwyndl L. Nelms

The Arrival

The blast of the siren and the flashing blue lights in the rear view mirror jolted William from his day dream. A frantic reaction caused him to jerk the steering wheel to the right. He slammed the brake peddle to the floor and stopped just short of the ditch. Feeling every vein in his body throbbing with every heartbeat, he didn't understand what had happened. In his side mirror he saw a policeman walking toward the car with his hand on his gun.

"Sir, are you alright?," the policeman asked. "Sir...sir, are you OK?"

William sat there almost numb trying to think of an excuse to tell the officer. An excuse couldn't be found since William had no idea what he had done. Millions of thoughts rushing through his mind yet he couldn't remember what had just happened. Why was he being pulled over? The cruise control was set several miles back so he couldn't have been speeding. Thoughts continued to race around his mind as he heard the policeman speaking to him in a very firm voice, "Step out of the car very slowly, and keep your hands where I can see them."

Completely terrified William opened the car door and stepped out of the car. "What seems to be the problem officer?" William asked in a shaky voice.

"Please move to the back of the car and stand facing the trunk."

The bright light from the officer's flashlight almost blinded William. He held his hand in front of his eyes and squinted trying to get a glimpse of the policeman and what his partner was doing.

The second policeman began to search the car. He didn't find anything inside the car, so he took the keys and, moving William out of the way, opened the trunk.

"There's nothing there," said William. "What are you looking for?"

William took a half step toward the officer before the first one grabbed his arm.

"Sir, you were swerving all over the road and ran through a red light and two stop signs. Have you been drinking tonight?"

He tried to hold it back, but he couldn't. Laughter spewed from William's mouth. He could hardly believe the question. Anyone who knew William would have been laughing with him, he was very well known as a man who didn't drink. He was known as a man who never did anything that might be considered bad for you, immoral, or wrong. His laughter simply intensified the more that he thought of the question.

William had a very distinctive laugh. It was a mixture of snorts and whistles like no one else could even imitate. "I don't mean to laugh. . . officer. It's just. . . that. . . if you only knew." He could barely get the sentence out in between snorts.

"Billy?" the officer asked in a surprising voice. "Billy Patterson, is that you? Ain't nobody else could have that laugh, I can't believe it. Wait 'til the guys hear this. They'll n'er believe I pulled over ole Billy Patterson for 'spicion of drunk driving." As he thought about it he burst into uncontrollable laughter himself. "Hey Mark, you remember all those stories I told about that nerd in High School? This here's the man I was talking 'bout."

"Well, if what you say is true he can't be drunk. . . He must really be as ignorant as you said he was, driving like that."

William's laughter stopped, and a peculiar smirk took it's place while the laughter of the two policemen increased. He realized that the first officer was none other than his high school classmate Charlie Eastman.

"Charles. . . Charlie Eastman. It's been a long time. I've been looking forward to seeing you. I never would have guessed that you were a policeman. Although it does not surprise me that you are still living in Pleasant Valley," he said in a demeaning tone. "Even though you always swore that you would leave this town, I didn't expect much from you."

"Hey, what's that s'pose to mean?" he said in an angry voice, "You saying that yo'r better than me?"

"No, no Charles, I'm not saying that I'm better than you. After all, 'Pride cometh before the fall' and I've fallen too many times in life. I don't want that to happen again," William said with a self-righteous grin.

"Well that's good, cuz just 'cause I'm a cop don't mean I can't still stomp you in the ground. It'd be jus like ol' times, 'cept nobody'd be able to save yo' butt dis time."

"Now, now, now, we're all adults," said Mark. "Let's just forget about the past and go on with our lives. Come on Charlie, we got to go and check on Old Lady Morris. If we don't get there before 5 o'clock she'll be calling the Mayor."

"Alright Mark, we'll go." Charlie's angry frown turned into a smile. "Hey Billy, it's been good to see ya again. Look forward to talking with ya at the re-union. Don't be such a stranger, shoot, I bet it's been fifteen years or better since we seen each other. Oh Yea, pay attention to your driving. You need to be careful. You could've hurt someone."

As Mark and Charlie drove away William couldn't help but speak his thoughts out loud, "What an Imbecile. I can't believe that idiot is allowed to carry a gun. He hasn't grown up at all. He still get's mad at the drop of a hat and then ten minutes later acts as if nothing has happened. The moron doesn't even realize that a twenty year reunion means that we've been out of school for twenty years"

William hadn't seen any of his classmates since their graduation, twenty years ago. May 14, 1976, that's the day William gave his valedictory speech, accepted his diploma, hopped in his '72 V.W. Beetle and drove right past the graduation dance to the city limit sign. Once he reached the sign he stopped the car, walked over to the sign and swore not to return to Pleasant Valley until he was a success and could pay them back for what they had done, every one of them.

The Reason

                         "The Pleasant Valley Graduating Class of 1976 announces their
                            Twentieth Anniversary. Saturday, May 26, 1996, at 7:00 p.m. in
                            the High School Gym. The last chance to see the  old gym before it
                            is torn down and a new one is built. If you were in the Class of '76
                            please make plans to attend."

William read over the announcement again in his hotel room. This was the announcement that ran in the P.V. Press. He had been receiving the newspaper for the last six months anticipating and searching for the announcement. He knew that his big chance would be at the reunion. "They won't be laughing at Billy Patterson this time," he thought to himself. William couldn't wait for tomorrow night and he knew that his day had finally arrived.

He carefully folded the newspaper clipping and tucked it into his day-planner. Taking his high school annual from his brief case he began to glance through the pages. The first few pages were just pictures of people standing around or studying or acting silly. A few made him laugh; a few made him want to cry. Memories began to flood William's mind as he reached the senior section. Just as he was about to turn the page to the first page of senior photos he heard someone speaking to him.

"Billy Patterson, What are you doing here?" was said in a firm and angry voice. Billy sat on the bed stiff with fear. The voice continued, "I thought I told you that I didn't want to see you here ever again. You just ain't real smart for a smart boy are you? You need to stay in that science class and keep on getting better at being a nerd. I guess I'm gonna have to remind you of a few of the rules around here."

Billy opened his eyes, turned around and saw the meanest kid in class, Paul Adams. "I'm sorry Paul. . . it's just that. . . I really had to use the rest room." Billy said in a small, fragile voice. "Please let me go, I promise I won't mess up again."

Ring. . .Ring. . .William was startled by the sound of the telephone. "H-H-Hello."

"Hello, Mr. Patterson, this is the Hotel Manager. I want to apologize for your room. I had instructed the desk to save you a king, but they made a mistake. We are completely booked up this weekend, due to the reunion. We will give you a discount to make up for the problem and if you need anything at all please don't hesitate to let us know."

"Everything is fine," William said. "The room is just fine."

"Thank you, Mr. Patterson, and once again, I'm sorry for the mistake. Have a good night's sleep."

William hung up the phone and his heart began to slow down. He took a deep breath and finally looked at page 14 in his annual. The very first picture was Paul Adams. Fear began to disappear as William began to speak, "Don't worry Paul, you'll get yours. You all will."

William continued to flip through the pages of the annual. They were all there. Charlie, Larry, John, Andrew, all of them in the same spot they had been every time he had looked in this book of memories.

William finally turned to the page with his picture, He probably wouldn't have wanted to look at this page except for one picture. Right next to William was Brad Parker, the only guy in school who treated William as a friend. Brad never called William a nerd, knocked his books out of his hand or even pulled his shorts down in gym as the cheerleaders came through. Maybe that was because Brad was considered a nerd also. But that didn't matter. Brad was a big guy. He was not the smartest kid in class, but was sure the strongest and toughest. No one, not even Paul Adams, or Bubba Wilson would mess with Brad. He showed up just in time many days to keep Billy from being beat up. If it were not for Brad, William might not have made it.

Looking at the picture of Brad made William proud to have such a friend, but it also made him very sad. Brad was killed in a farming accident about two years back. They had written each other up until then. William didn't find out about the accident until the funeral was over. He never got to say goodbye. He had plans to stop by the cemetery tomorrow. "I sure do miss you Brad. Tomorrow night is for both of us."

William continued to look through the annual and remembered lots of kids and the mean things they had said or done. He finally came to the last page of the seniors. There they were. "It should be a sin for Leslie Wilson to be on the same page as Mary Lou Anderson," William declared. Leslie was better known as Bubba, and was nothing more than a bully in William's eyes. He was voted most popular, most handsome, most likely to succeed, and was even Senior Class President, and of course Captain of the football team. However, to William he was scum. He was the leader of all the ones who had made high school life for Billy Patterson a living nightmare. In William's eyes he deserved what was coming more than anyone.

Rage was taking over William's mind as he looked down at Mary Lou Anderson. The most beautiful girl in school. William instantly turned to mush just looking at or thinking about her. In William's mind she was perfect. Never had God made a more glorious creature. As his mind raced, thinking of every kind word she had ever said to him, he began to fantasize of what might have been if he'd only had the courage to ask her out. Instead, she ended up with Bubba Wilson. This made William angry again. "Life just isn't fair," screamed William as he slammed the book closed.

The room began to appear smaller and as if it were moving as William paced around the room in anger so he took a drink of water to calm down and re-opened the book. Turning to the teacher's section. There he was, Dr. Blakeburn. Everyone just called him "Doc." He was the science teacher and most kids liked him, but hated his class. William was different, He loved both the teacher and the class. Science class was the one place were Billy Patterson could be on top. He always had the highest average and caught on to everything faster than most of the others. Doc was the one who showed Billy how exciting science could be. He also pointed out the money that could be made if the right field was chosen. Doc always encouraged Billy to do his absolute best and become something great. Even in the back of the annual, where most kids had lots of signatures, Billy had just one, it was from Doc. "Billy, never give up on what you believe. You have the ability to be great. Don't let the crowd get you down. If they control you, they win. With lots of admiration, Doc." These words always stuck with William. He would never forget Doc.

The Prepartaion

The next morning William woke up early with excitement about all he had to do today. The cemetery would be the first stop in order to see Brad's grave site. He noticed the headstone right away placed on the very edge of the cemetery just a few feet from the road. As William sat and talked to his old friend he looked and saw a beautiful white kitten crossing the road from the woods on the other side. He then noticed a car speeding down the curvy road and yelled for it to stop. It didn't even attempt to stop, but the cat scurried along and somehow made it across the road. William must have closed his eyes, because he was certain that the cat had been hit.

He ran and lifted the kitten into his arms and stroked it as he asked if it were alright. "Don't worry little kitty, I'll take care of you," William said in a sympathetic voice. "You won't have to be afraid anymore, I'll take you home with me. I couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt." William said his good-byes to Brad and stroked the back of the kitten as he carried her to the car.

His next stop was "Herrington's Men's Store." He was determined to look good for the party tonight. He bought all new clothes, a new suit, shirt, shoes, socks, tie, and even a matching handkerchief. He was going all out for tonight. The money was not an issue for William anymore and he was not going to be a tightwad tonight. Those days were over.

He stopped by Ray's Barber Shop for a new hair style, one that didn't look nerdy. Next he was off to Dr. Malone's for a new pair of contacts. He had gotten a pair several months ago, but had accidentally torn one of them and lost the other just recently. He was not taking a chance on being called four eyes tonight. His final stop would be the post office to retrieve a package awaiting him to pick up. He was praying all the way there that it had arrived. If it were late it would ruin his whole plan. He was excited to see that the package was there and everything going perfectly. It began to sink in that in a mere three hours his big plans would come to fruition. It seemed he'd been waiting forever, but 20 years is a long time to plan and wait.

The Decision

William walked into the high school gym looking the best he had ever looked. Nothing could compare to the feeling of tonight, not the numerous awards he had received for his contributions to science, not his new promotion to the head of the science department of Adriel Industries, not even the half of a million dollar bonus he had received for his latest invention. This was the night he had been waiting for for twenty years. Nervous butterflies could be felt be he was certain they would disappear as soon as he saw everyone again.

"Sir, have you signed in yet? I guess not, we have a name tag for you so that everyone will be able to recognize you. You know how everyone has changed. It's so hard to tell who is who. Just come with me and we'll get you all fixed up. So, what is your name anyway?" Asked a very beautiful blonde woman who talked exceedingly fast.

William had no doubt who this gorgeous lady was when he heard her talk. No one else in class ever talked that fast, but Lisa never looked that good. "Lisa Taylor, you're looking great. You probably don't remember me, but I'm William, well, Billy Patterson."

"Billy Patterson?" she said in a surprised and screeching voice. "I never would have recognized you. Of course I remember you, but it's not Lisa Taylor anymore, it's Lisa Bolton. Yes, you guessed it, I'm Married to Larry Bolton. Isn't it great. Boy you look absolutely wonderful. I can't believe it. How in the world have you been? What kind of work are doing now anyway? No one has heard from you in so long. I just bet you're doing something incredible aren't you? You were always so smart."

"I've been fine. Things are going rather well for me actually. I've just been promoted to the head of the science department in the company I work for, and I'm receiving an award for a new invention of mine. But everyone will know about that in just a little while. . .Well, like I said, you look great, Lisa, I'll talk to you a little later. I want to get around and see a few more people."

William looked around the room and saw each person whom he felt had it coming. "There they stand, each one of them looking happy and carefree, just like in high school. They have no idea what's about to happen. Bubba, Charlie, Larry, Paul, John and Andrew, they all deserve what they're about get. I bet they're all just like they were in high school. They probably haven''t grown up at all." William thought to himself.

William went into the rest room to prepare for what was to come. He entered a stall and locked the door. Taking two separate bags from his jacket pockets he began to go to work. He had just finished a new invention a year ago that would revolutionize the weight loss industry. It would be released in less than a year from now. Just adding this one chemical to any food, in the right amount, would allow the fat in the food to be broken down to one eighth the amount of fat normally in that food. To make things even better, it had no distinct taste or smell, the food keeps it's flavor.

What William's employers did not know was that by adding a second chemical, that only he knew how to create, this miraculous new invention would cause intense pain and uncontrollable nervous reactions at random time intervals. Anyone taking the two chemicals together, even in the smallest amounts, would be in agony for several years. William was very confident that it would not cause death, but whoever tried it would wish it did.

"This will teach you to pull down the shorts of a nerd," said William as he slowly mixed the two bags together. "You think I was embarrassed, just wait until you begin to have fits wherever you go. You won't know when it' coming; just when you think you're OK, it'll hit again. Vengeance is mine." There was a smirk on his face showing pride of his accomplishment and at the opportunity for payback.

William walked back into the gym knowing that all he had to do was slip just a little of his magic mixture onto the food or into the drinks of these jerks and he would have his revenge. He looked to the far side of the room and saw all of them standing in a circle talking about old times. "This is perfect," he thought to himself.

"Hi guys," said William as he walked up to the gang. "How are you fellows doing tonight?"

"We're doing great Billy boy. How 'bout yourself?" asked Bubba.

"Actually," said Larry, "We hear that you're doing pretty good for yourself. Lisa was telling us that you had a good job and was even getting some award. That's really great Billy."

"Yes, well, things are going good for me. It seems to be getting better all the time," responded William while wondering why everyone seemed to be so nice toward him.

"I ain't doing bad myself," said Bubba. I had one of the best years ever down at the farm. I shore do miss that there Brad though. He was the best worker we had before the accident. Dang shame for that to happen."

"Brad worked for you, Bubba?," William inquired. "He never mentioned that in his letters. He just always said that his boss was a big farmer who treated him well. I never knew you were his boss."

"Yep, I took over daddy's farm when he died. Brad was a pretty good feller. I shore do miss him."

Charlie nervously spoke up after a short pause, "Hey William, I'm not good at this but I want to say that I'm real sorry 'bout givin' ya a hard time and gettin' mad at ya last night when me and Mark pulled ya over. I jus' let my temper get away sometimes. Hope there ain't no bad feelin's, man."

"No, everything is fine. I didn't think anything about it," William said while feeling somewhat perplexed.

Paul Adams, the bully himself, walked up to William and put his hand on his shoulder. He stood gazing into William's eyes and had a strange look on his face. William wasn't sure what to expect, was Paul mad, worried, confused, what was he about to do. His eyes widened and he swallowed deeply as memories of High School brought fright to William. Then suddenly Paul took a deep breath, swung his arms around and gave William a great big hug. "Hey man, I'm sorry about all the stupid stuff we did when we were kids. I wish I could go back in time and change it all. Lots of things have changed in my life and I'm not the same stupid kid I was. I hope that you haven't let all that stuff keep you back in life. You're a smart dude and I really respect you. I wish I could have been more like you in high school and not waited so long to grow up."

"Hey. . . It's OK don't worry about it. I turned out alright and it looks like you did also. We all have done stupid things in our lives." William stood there not really sure what was going on. This was not what he expected when he came to this reunion. Finally, he spoke up again, "I'm going to go and get us all some drinks. Let's have a toast to old times."

All the guys thought that was a great idea. William made his way to the drinks while stopping and talking to a few people along the way. Everyone seemed to be so nice and happy to see him. He was more popular tonight than he had ever been. He didn't know what to do. As he stood at the table all alone he remembered all the mean and nasty things that had happened in high school. He then remembered all the nice things that had just been said to him. "What should I do?," He thought to himself. "I've been planning this a long time. Do they deserve to get off just because they apologized after twenty years? . . .They still made my life a living hell in high school. They made me refuse to return to my home town because of shame and hatred. They tried to take away my dignity. . . But on the other hand they do seem to have changed. They appear sincerely sorry for what they had done. Paul even hugged me. I just don't know what to do."

As he finished gathering the drinks he looked across the room and saw Mary Lou Anderson. She was even more beautiful than in high school. William's knees began to shake. "I can't believe that I missed out on her and Bubba got her. That just isn't fair." Envy raged within as he watched her walk up to Bubba and give him a great big kiss. All the guys were smiling as they watched. William felt the bag in his jacket pocket just as he heard John yell for him to hurry up. Calmness began to set in but confusion remained. He watched the guys smiling and calling his name, then he looked at Mary Lou and she smiled and waved at him. Looking around the room once more he looked down at the drinks. He knew it was now or never and he had to make a decision.

Self(?)-Preservation

I'm about to turn 43 years old and I graduated from High School 25 years ago this year. I still remember when my Dad went to his 25th High School Reunion and thinking about how old he must be. At times I feel old yet at times I wonder why teenagers call me sir. It's certain that time will keep moving, we will all keep getting older and, at least for me, I'm no where near where I expected to be at this age.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life lately. I know, I know... I don't need to dwell on the past but at the same time we should learn from the past. I've thought through the major events in my life, my successes and my failures and I have noticed a pattern. There isn't time right now to list them all and honestly, I don't have the desire to share them all but trust me, the successes were exciting and the failures, brutal.

A few weeks ago I studied the book of Exodus and made notes of some of the things that stood out to me. One of the items on my list was in chapter 2 when Moses ran away from Egypt and ended up in Midian. In case you don't know the story of Moses, let me give a quick summary up to this point. Moses was born a Hebrew during a time of Hebrew slavery in Egypt. The King of Egypt had decided that all male babies should be killed because the slaves were growing in number. Moses, however was hidden and was raised in the King's palace by the King's daughter. As a grown man, Moses saw a slave being mistreated and came to his defense. He killed the Egyptian and when he realized that people knew, he ran away in fear.

Relating to this story isn't difficult to me because I have been given many blessings in life only to do something on my own to mess it up and then run away out of guilt to hide and try to fix (or ignore) the problem on my own. When Moses arrived in Midian he sat down to rest and the daughters of the local priest came to get water and some shepherds didn't like it so they ran the girls off. (Big Bullies) Moses, put on his shiny armor, climbed upon his white horse.......... Wait, different story....... OK, Moses came to the defense of the ladies and was then invited by their father to eat with them and eventually to marry one of the daughters. Because he was polite and helpful to these ladies in need, his needs were also met and he found a new home. This man who had killed another man was being seen as kind and caring with a chance to start a new life.

If you know the story of Moses then you know that years later he went back to Egypt to lead the people out of slavery and into the Promised Land. But it all started with running away out of fear. Moses didn't go to Midian because there was a great job offer, to go to college or looking for a wife, he went there out of fear and self-preservation. He was in a jam and thought he knew best how to fix it and save himself from certain punishment or death. What he didn't know is that his self-preservation was actually part of God's awesome plan.

As I look at my life, the successes and failures, I realize that I had very little to do with the successes. They all came during times when I was truly seeking God's will for my life and being obedient. However, I had much to do with the failures because they came when I tried to do things on my own, often out of self-preservation. When I would lose sight of the vision, the big picture, the plan God had for me, I would make unwise decisions and there are ALWAYS consequences to our decisions. Several times, including a very dark time a little over 2 years ago, I would run from my problems. About a year ago I was still running when I found myself in a place I didn't want to be, a Church Service. I went there to give the appearance of self-preservation and hoping that my children would get something from the church that I was not providing. I knew my children needed God in their lives even if wanted to live my life, my way.

It's amazing to me how God worked it all out. Just as Moses thought he was running away to never return to the place of his greatest failure, I had made up my mind that I would never return to place of my greatest disgrace, the church. But God had a different idea. Sometimes our self-preservation is God's provision for His plan for our lives. Moses never dreamed he would someday be the leader of the Hebrew people, then God showed up at just the right time, when Moses was prepared through the right circumstances, to Rock the World of Moses and allow him to do things he never dreamed possible. Today I find myself not only attending but serving others in a church that loves Jesus and loves people. God brought conviction, allowed me to repent and is still changing me daily to become the man He wants me to be.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing myself to Moses. I do believe, however, God has used many Faiures through the ages for great things and I believe He wants each of us to find similarities with these people so that we can realize that God wants to have fellowship with imperfect people and even use us to accomplish His great plan. One year ago I felt un-usable, unloved and unworthy and today I'm forgiven, free and loved. My marriage and family have been restored and I'm actually helping to reach people for Christ and making an impact on some lives. I don't know what God has for me in the next few years but I am so Thankful that He has brought me to this point and is giving me a 58th 2nd chance to serve Him. My prayer is that I will be bold and not Allow fear or failure to drive me away again. Also, that I will accept the plan God has for me instead of trusting in my Self-Preservation.

What about you? What in your past do you think is too big for God to fix? What are you trying to fix yourself? Maybe God is trying to take your circumstances and do something Big in and through you. Maybe He allowed you to go through your failures so that you could experience the greatest success of your life.

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Tolerance, Truth & Transformation

I have read several articles in the last few months that have challenged my thinking about issues that I thought were well understood in my worldview. A while back I read an article about a Pastor who reached out to Ted Haggard (Preacher/Evangelical Leader who was caught paying for homosexual activity). This pastor found himself challenged by a non-Christian who pointed out that Christians shoot their wounded so he reached out to and became friends with Ted Haggard, the outcast. I could write a whole blog about that because it made me aware of God's grace and restoration seeing Ted's wife fight for their marriage and the restoration of the man she loves and the man God loves. Regardless of your view on Ted's return to ministry, the story I read made me realize that God can forgive and change people. I know we, as Christians, claim to believe that, but I know what its like to be told that I've crossed a line and am beyond help. I also know what it is to feel unlovable, unforgivable and un-usable. Satan and Christians told me such things. My Non-Christian friends and The Word of God tells me that God is a God of forgiveness and love. Sure repentance is needed, but forgiveness is waiting when we do.

A couple of weeks ago I read an article written by a woman who was, at one time, a professor and author, teaching and writing about the rights of Gays & Lesbians. Herself a lesbian, she saw Christians as hateful and judgmental. A pastor befriended her and showed her the Love of Christ. He talked with her as a person and showed interest in her life. She became friends with he and his wife and even began to attend church and read the book that she hated and saw as an attack on her lifestyle. Through time she realized her need of a relationship with the God of the universe, repented and became a follower of Christ. She is today married to a Christian Pastor. 

Last night I was challenged by another article. Shane Windmeyer is a Nationally recognized LGBT leader in higher education, author & Executive Director of Campus Pride (A group designed to help and promote LGBT issues and students on college campuses.) He was instrumental in the boycott of Chic-Fil-A because of the beliefs of CEO, Dan Cathy when it came to Biblical (Traditional) Marriage. Shane tells the story of how Dan Cathy reached out to him and the two became friends. He admitted his fear of "coming out" as a friend of Dan Cathy and Chic-Fil-A, but his story is quite compelling. He makes it clear in the article that neither he nor Mr. Cathy have changed their views on homosexuality. However, he talks about the respect they show each other. He sees Dan in a different light, and vice-versa, because they got to know each other as people and friends instead of enemies who are attacking the world view of the other. 

In today's world we are being told that we need to be more tolerant. It seems to me, and other Christians with whom I have talked, that the only thing not tolerated today is the Christian faith and our right to voice our opinion. However, I think sometimes it is more the manner in which we voice our beliefs that get us into trouble. There's no doubt that the Bible teaches us that the world will hate us because it hated Christ first, (John 15:18) but sometimes we bring it on ourselves. The old saying that we are "hate the sin & love the sinner" makes for a good sermon but it's sometimes difficult to live out.

Here's the deal: Non-Christians, or even those who claim to be Christians but live lifestyles contrary to that confession, love to state that Jesus spent lots of time with Sinners. That is a true statement; He spent more time with his disciples though. But who did Jesus condemn the most? It was the religious people of the day. Notice that he spent time with sinners without condemning them while at the same time He drew them to Himself for the purpose of redemption. When Jesus spent time with sinners He didn't condone the sin; He called sin sin. He even died so that same sin, whichever one we are talking about, could be forgiven. He was Tolerant of the sinner because He knew they were living according to their sinful nature and could only be changed by the Truth of God's Word which, when accepted, will bring about Transformation through the power, love and forgiveness of God. 

Jesus was not Tolerant of Religious People who claimed to know God but lived in opposition to God by their actions and self-righteousness. Why? Because those who are in a relationship with someone have responsibilities that those outside of the relationship do not have.  Because Christ came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10). He taught that the healthy don't need a doctor but the sick, and He came to call the sinner (Mark 2:17). He understands what so many, who show hatred for the sinner, don't seem to understand; the Love of God can change ANYONE! It was love for man, not hatred, and it was hatred for sin, not for man, that led Christ to the Cross and that caused him to cover our sin debt with His Blood. 

Whether we are talking about homosexual sin, adultery, fornication, pornography, rape, murder, theft, or any other sin we can name, it must be repented of and confessed to God. Christ died for us because He wants us to have fellowship and a real relationship with God Almighty. Should we tolerate sin in the church? No! Should we teach Truth without apology? Yes! Should we show the Love of Christ to those who do not know Him, accept them as they are as we point them to Christ in hopes of a Transformation? YES! To hate the sin and love the sinner is difficult for many, but it is the example of Christ. We must remember that, ONLY because of God's Grace and Forgiveness are we not All doomed to condemnation. I doubt yelling out that God hates someone is going to give them a desire to know God. Why would you want to know someone who hates you and wants you punished for things that you have never been taught are wrong? Our God loves the sinner and wants the best for all of us. 

In the three articles linked above, one was a professing Christian who had to come to grips with his own temptations & sins and seek God's forgiveness and redemption. Two of the people saw Christianity and Jesus as enemies of their lifestyle and as nothing more than hate mongers. Of the last 2, both were able to see some Christians and Christ in a different light, one ending in a relationship with God himself, the other coming away with a new respect while still disagreeing with the beliefs. Which method will demonstrate God's love and offer of redemption more? The method of the wackos at Westboro Baptist Church protesting military funerals, or those who chose to get to know people, show them respect and lead them to Christ instead of shout them to hell? I choose to follow the example of Christ and show Tolerance to the sinner, while teaching and demonstrating the Truth of God's Love so that HE might Transform lives.

Sleepy Time

Have you ever fallen asleep while listening to a sermon in church? I love good preaching, heck I love to preach and I've seen many people fall asleep during my sermons, which is strange since I consider myself a good preacher. Reluctantly I admit that I also have fallen asleep during the sermons of others. Sometimes it's just hard to keep the eyes open. But I know how it feels to see someone sleeping while you are pouring out your heart, it's not exactly a confidence booster.

What about falling asleep in the middle of a conversation with someone, have you ever done that? I remember sitting in my boss's office a few years back and suddenly he asked, "Are you OK?" That question woke me up. Now, to my defense, I had accidentally taken some Benadryl which knocks me out. (How I accidentally took the wrong medicine is a different story, y'all stay focused here.) However, it's embarrassing to fall asleep when someone is talking to you. It's kind of insulting to the other person.

When I was younger I was taught to pray. My parents believe in prayer and they demonstrated that belief everyday as well as encouraged me to pray daily. In fact, as a teen and through most of my 20's I would pray every night once I was lying in bed ready to go to sleep. There were even many times I would have a special prayer time right before lying down, yet I would still find myself praying once my head hit the pillow. It seemed funny to me that I couldn't go to sleep until I had prayed while in bed, understand that kneeling beside the bed prior or sitting in the living room with my family praying simply did not suffice. (Yep I'm weird.)

Eventually I somehow convinced myself that praying while in bed was not a requirement but simply a habit. I got in the habit of praying during the day and sometimes right before bed but not normally IN bed. Lots of things have changed through the years and my relationship with God has risen to great heights and sunken to embarrassing lows. Over the past year God has done amazing things to challenge me, convict me, correct me and call me to a closer walk with Him. For the past 19 days I've been taking part in a Daniel Fast which has been absolutely amazing. (I will write more about it once it's completed. We will wrap up 21 days at 7 pm on Saturday, January 26 and either that night or on Sunday I hope to write a blog post about my 3 week experience.) During this time my Bible Study and Prayer Life have both increased and improved in astonishing ways.

I realized a few days ago that I am back to praying when I lie down at night. I can have an incredible time with God, pouring out my heart, worshiping and listening to Him and yet I still will pray when I lie down. The realization also hit me that I've been falling asleep many nights while praying. I began to contemplate this last night and wonder if that is insulting to God. Does He see it as me treating Him as a routine or does He see it as me giving my last waking moment to Him? I have noticed that on the nights I've fallen asleep while praying, I enjoy a more peaceful sleep, my dreams are relaxing and pleasant and I wake up refreshed.

Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 that we should "Pray without ceasing." (NKJV) I won't go into all that can be taught by that statement and how it should effect our lives but it is clear that we should stay in contact with God. I have been rejoicing lately with all that God has been teaching me and how He has been changing me. I think the amount of time I've been spending in Real, Honest, Relational, God-Seeking Prayer has made a difference in my life. I am going to choose to believe that when I fall asleep praying, God sees my heart and knows that I gave my last moment of consciousness to Him. I simply want to honor Him and know Him more. I am convinced more than ever that Prayer Changes things, especially the person praying.

Afraid of the Dark

When I was little I wasn't really afraid of the dark, well I could sleep without a light and I would walk through dark places, but there were times and places that the darkness really freaked me out. Have you ever been alone in a church, late at night, with all the lights out? Let me tell you, there are some strange noises in there. :)

As a young child, so inocent and trusting, I looked up to my Big Sister and believed what she told me. (You see I am the good one here, right?) She convinced me that in the small, quiet, peaceful town of Olive Branch, on little peaceful Coleman Street, under the back yard of the house on the hill at the end of the street, there were small, evil dwarfs who only opened their cave and attacked people at night. Therefore, I was terrified to walk down the street after dark.

One night we there was a group of us playing flashlight tag outside and the big kids let me play. My next door neighbor, a girl mind you, wanted to go hide on the other side of the fense which surrounded the back yard above the evil, hidden cave. What was I to do? I couldn't let a Girl know that I was scared, so I walked with her right past the cave, which I had seen twice before, and hid with her. I don't think she knew how scared I was at the time. She didn't realize how I was shaking and praying that the dwarfs would let us pass this night. An amazing thing happened; we survived!! Eventually, I realized that there was no hidden cave below the Prather's yard and I could walk down that hill at night without fear, well kinda.

It's funny how the darkness is so much scarier than the light. We all know, in our heads, that there is nothing in the darkness that is not there in the light, but we can see it in the light, and that makes all the difference. The enemy likes to use the dark to make us beleive we are in danger, to hold us captive and to keep us from moving forward. The unknown is scary for most. Many times we are even afraid when we know there is no reason, but we allow fear to creep in and sometimes slow us down or even stop us from doing what we know we should do.

In 1 Kings Elijah was God's prophet and the king had allowed Jezebel to influence him and now there were false gods being worshipped throughout the land and the majority of the people were following the lead of Jezebel. Elijah trusted God's Word and announced a drought would come. During this 3 year drought God provided for Elijah in many ways and allowed him to be a part of great miracles. At the end of the 3 years Elijah went before the king and made a challenge to the 450 prophets of baal. They all met on Mount Carmel and Elijah allowed the 450 to go first. They built an altar to their gods and asked the gods to ignite a fire for the altar. They spent the entire day praying, begging and even cutting themselves in hopes of an answer from the gods they served. No fire came.

Elijah now had his turn and he built the altar, placed the bull on the altar and had some men pour 12 large buckets of water over the altar to where the wood was soaked completely even the ditch around the altar was filled with water. He then prayed to the True God and fire came to the altar and everything on the altar was burned, even the water in the trench was dried up.

This was an amazing act of God and the people saw that the God of Elijah was the Real God, worhty of worship and praise. However, when Jezabel heard about it she threatened the life of Elijah and chapter 19, verse 3 says something that baffels me after such an incredible victory, "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life." After all the powerful and amazing things God had done in and through Elijah, he ran out of fear. He went to the wilderness to hide and slept in a dark cave. He wanted to give up.

I have been paralyzed with fear before. In fact, I'm scared right now. As I see what God is doing and think about who I am, I am terrified of failure. Fear has knocked me down and I've allowed it to keep me from moving forward or doing what I knew to be right. That is to my shame, but I'm learning again. I have also had times that I was fearless. I remember tackling a very difficult issue at church once and having a leader in the church hug me and tell me I was the most courageous man he knew. I didn't feel courageous at the time. I was scared but I was convicted that I was doing right so I did it. I want to be that man again. I want to be the adventurer, the inovator, the man willing to do what God says and go where God says, even when I am in the dark and can't see if the cave is open or not.

God asked Elijah, twice, why he was there and each time Elijah replied that it was because he had worked so hard and done right yet the people still want to kill him. God spoke to Elijah in a quiet voice and told him to go back and even though he was afraid, he went! Even in the fear he do what he knew God wanted him to do. He let fear slow him down and he even wanted to stop but ultimately he walked with God and let fear be defeated.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Why was Elijah afraid after such a great vicotry, I can't explain it, but it makes me see that it's human nature and no one is above fear. The solution is not to somehow never be afraid, the solution is to keep moving forward, doing what is right even when fear is present and the enemy is trying to keep you in the dark to enhance that fear. Let's all move forward this year and see what God will do in and through us as we let Him guide us through the darkness of fear into His light which always brings victory!

God Given Goals

It's 2013!! Many people are making New Years Resolutions and setting goals for the coming year. I have to admit that I have made and failed to follow through on Many New Years Resolutions in my life. This year I am not making any, but I am setting a few goals for 2013. Some of them are goals to reach by my Birthday in March, I have a couple to reach by Summer Time and I have a couple to reach by the end of the year.

I'm not listing my goals in this blog but if anyone wants to know them I have no problem sharing. I created a spreadsheet to help me keep track of how I'm doing and I think that will help me remember each day that I need to do certain things if I am to have success with my goals.

As I was doing my Bible Study today I read Luke 19 and the story of Zacchaeus. There are several lessons to be learned in this story but today I was struck by the chance for a New Beginning that was given this man and the need to stay focused on God Given Goals. If you don't remember the story, let me paraphrase it for you:

Jesus was traveling through Jerico and Zacchaeus was one of many who wanted to get a glimpse of him. Zacchaeus was a very wealthy man, but not well liked. He had gained his wealth by cheating people as he gathered taxes from them. Tax collectors were considered to be the lowest of the low and no one wanted to be associated with them. But this tax collector had a desire to see Jesus. He was a short man and knew that it would be difficult to get a good look over the crowd so he ran ahead of the crowd, climbed up a sycamore-fig tree and waited to see this man who was causing a stir.

When Jesus arrived at the tree he shocked everyone by stopping and inviting himself to to the house of Zacchaeus. Many people thought Jesus was making a big mistake by eating with such a sinner as this Tax Collector. Jesus was ridiculed and his motives questioned, but He stayed focused on His Goals of coming "to seek and to save the lost" (verse 10). Of course, Jesus is God so He can stay focued, I'm a simple, sinful man, so I have an excuse for not following through with my goals, right? ;) I don't think so. I am amazed at the results of Jesus doing the Father's Will and ignoring the crowd; this dirty, rotten, cheating, theiving, low-down tax collector was changed and impacted lives by spending time with Jesus. His life was changed forever and he now had new God Given Goals.

It's amazing what happens when we truly spend time with Jesus and let His presence, power and peace affect our thinking and our way of living. This "Sinner" recognized his sins and truly repented of his wrong. How do I know he repented? Simple, He was changed. He didn't just say a few nice words, he went out and acted like a changed man. He paid back all that he had stolen, but not just what he stole, he gave back 4 times what he had stolen plus he gave half of his posseisions to the poor. Let me tell you, when a rich man gives away over half of his money and stuff, He has gone through a real change, real repentence, not just an emotional decision. This man was impacted and changed by his time with Jesus. As well it should be with all of us.

I am so thankful that God is giving me a second chance. A year ago I was making very selfish goals and looking for ways to cover up my sinfulness and selfishness. Through the course of 2012 God got my attention and began to draw me back. I'm still not perfect, but I'm climbing, I'm seeking and I'm accepting the invitation of Jesus to come into His presence each day. God has brought redemption, repentence and renewal to my life and I could never praise Him enough for this oportunity to Begin Again and go after the God Given Goals that I believe He has placed on my heart.

Where are you going in 2013? I hope you are on the journey toward God's Will for your life and not seeking selfish goals. His goals will not only lead to His Glory but to your satisfaction. I'm looking forward to what God will do this year and I pray that we will all take this new oportunity for a 2nd chance and stay focused on His Goals for us! God Bless!