Sleepy Time

Have you ever fallen asleep while listening to a sermon in church? I love good preaching, heck I love to preach and I've seen many people fall asleep during my sermons, which is strange since I consider myself a good preacher. Reluctantly I admit that I also have fallen asleep during the sermons of others. Sometimes it's just hard to keep the eyes open. But I know how it feels to see someone sleeping while you are pouring out your heart, it's not exactly a confidence booster.

What about falling asleep in the middle of a conversation with someone, have you ever done that? I remember sitting in my boss's office a few years back and suddenly he asked, "Are you OK?" That question woke me up. Now, to my defense, I had accidentally taken some Benadryl which knocks me out. (How I accidentally took the wrong medicine is a different story, y'all stay focused here.) However, it's embarrassing to fall asleep when someone is talking to you. It's kind of insulting to the other person.

When I was younger I was taught to pray. My parents believe in prayer and they demonstrated that belief everyday as well as encouraged me to pray daily. In fact, as a teen and through most of my 20's I would pray every night once I was lying in bed ready to go to sleep. There were even many times I would have a special prayer time right before lying down, yet I would still find myself praying once my head hit the pillow. It seemed funny to me that I couldn't go to sleep until I had prayed while in bed, understand that kneeling beside the bed prior or sitting in the living room with my family praying simply did not suffice. (Yep I'm weird.)

Eventually I somehow convinced myself that praying while in bed was not a requirement but simply a habit. I got in the habit of praying during the day and sometimes right before bed but not normally IN bed. Lots of things have changed through the years and my relationship with God has risen to great heights and sunken to embarrassing lows. Over the past year God has done amazing things to challenge me, convict me, correct me and call me to a closer walk with Him. For the past 19 days I've been taking part in a Daniel Fast which has been absolutely amazing. (I will write more about it once it's completed. We will wrap up 21 days at 7 pm on Saturday, January 26 and either that night or on Sunday I hope to write a blog post about my 3 week experience.) During this time my Bible Study and Prayer Life have both increased and improved in astonishing ways.

I realized a few days ago that I am back to praying when I lie down at night. I can have an incredible time with God, pouring out my heart, worshiping and listening to Him and yet I still will pray when I lie down. The realization also hit me that I've been falling asleep many nights while praying. I began to contemplate this last night and wonder if that is insulting to God. Does He see it as me treating Him as a routine or does He see it as me giving my last waking moment to Him? I have noticed that on the nights I've fallen asleep while praying, I enjoy a more peaceful sleep, my dreams are relaxing and pleasant and I wake up refreshed.

Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 that we should "Pray without ceasing." (NKJV) I won't go into all that can be taught by that statement and how it should effect our lives but it is clear that we should stay in contact with God. I have been rejoicing lately with all that God has been teaching me and how He has been changing me. I think the amount of time I've been spending in Real, Honest, Relational, God-Seeking Prayer has made a difference in my life. I am going to choose to believe that when I fall asleep praying, God sees my heart and knows that I gave my last moment of consciousness to Him. I simply want to honor Him and know Him more. I am convinced more than ever that Prayer Changes things, especially the person praying.

Afraid of the Dark

When I was little I wasn't really afraid of the dark, well I could sleep without a light and I would walk through dark places, but there were times and places that the darkness really freaked me out. Have you ever been alone in a church, late at night, with all the lights out? Let me tell you, there are some strange noises in there. :)

As a young child, so inocent and trusting, I looked up to my Big Sister and believed what she told me. (You see I am the good one here, right?) She convinced me that in the small, quiet, peaceful town of Olive Branch, on little peaceful Coleman Street, under the back yard of the house on the hill at the end of the street, there were small, evil dwarfs who only opened their cave and attacked people at night. Therefore, I was terrified to walk down the street after dark.

One night we there was a group of us playing flashlight tag outside and the big kids let me play. My next door neighbor, a girl mind you, wanted to go hide on the other side of the fense which surrounded the back yard above the evil, hidden cave. What was I to do? I couldn't let a Girl know that I was scared, so I walked with her right past the cave, which I had seen twice before, and hid with her. I don't think she knew how scared I was at the time. She didn't realize how I was shaking and praying that the dwarfs would let us pass this night. An amazing thing happened; we survived!! Eventually, I realized that there was no hidden cave below the Prather's yard and I could walk down that hill at night without fear, well kinda.

It's funny how the darkness is so much scarier than the light. We all know, in our heads, that there is nothing in the darkness that is not there in the light, but we can see it in the light, and that makes all the difference. The enemy likes to use the dark to make us beleive we are in danger, to hold us captive and to keep us from moving forward. The unknown is scary for most. Many times we are even afraid when we know there is no reason, but we allow fear to creep in and sometimes slow us down or even stop us from doing what we know we should do.

In 1 Kings Elijah was God's prophet and the king had allowed Jezebel to influence him and now there were false gods being worshipped throughout the land and the majority of the people were following the lead of Jezebel. Elijah trusted God's Word and announced a drought would come. During this 3 year drought God provided for Elijah in many ways and allowed him to be a part of great miracles. At the end of the 3 years Elijah went before the king and made a challenge to the 450 prophets of baal. They all met on Mount Carmel and Elijah allowed the 450 to go first. They built an altar to their gods and asked the gods to ignite a fire for the altar. They spent the entire day praying, begging and even cutting themselves in hopes of an answer from the gods they served. No fire came.

Elijah now had his turn and he built the altar, placed the bull on the altar and had some men pour 12 large buckets of water over the altar to where the wood was soaked completely even the ditch around the altar was filled with water. He then prayed to the True God and fire came to the altar and everything on the altar was burned, even the water in the trench was dried up.

This was an amazing act of God and the people saw that the God of Elijah was the Real God, worhty of worship and praise. However, when Jezabel heard about it she threatened the life of Elijah and chapter 19, verse 3 says something that baffels me after such an incredible victory, "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life." After all the powerful and amazing things God had done in and through Elijah, he ran out of fear. He went to the wilderness to hide and slept in a dark cave. He wanted to give up.

I have been paralyzed with fear before. In fact, I'm scared right now. As I see what God is doing and think about who I am, I am terrified of failure. Fear has knocked me down and I've allowed it to keep me from moving forward or doing what I knew to be right. That is to my shame, but I'm learning again. I have also had times that I was fearless. I remember tackling a very difficult issue at church once and having a leader in the church hug me and tell me I was the most courageous man he knew. I didn't feel courageous at the time. I was scared but I was convicted that I was doing right so I did it. I want to be that man again. I want to be the adventurer, the inovator, the man willing to do what God says and go where God says, even when I am in the dark and can't see if the cave is open or not.

God asked Elijah, twice, why he was there and each time Elijah replied that it was because he had worked so hard and done right yet the people still want to kill him. God spoke to Elijah in a quiet voice and told him to go back and even though he was afraid, he went! Even in the fear he do what he knew God wanted him to do. He let fear slow him down and he even wanted to stop but ultimately he walked with God and let fear be defeated.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Why was Elijah afraid after such a great vicotry, I can't explain it, but it makes me see that it's human nature and no one is above fear. The solution is not to somehow never be afraid, the solution is to keep moving forward, doing what is right even when fear is present and the enemy is trying to keep you in the dark to enhance that fear. Let's all move forward this year and see what God will do in and through us as we let Him guide us through the darkness of fear into His light which always brings victory!

God Given Goals

It's 2013!! Many people are making New Years Resolutions and setting goals for the coming year. I have to admit that I have made and failed to follow through on Many New Years Resolutions in my life. This year I am not making any, but I am setting a few goals for 2013. Some of them are goals to reach by my Birthday in March, I have a couple to reach by Summer Time and I have a couple to reach by the end of the year.

I'm not listing my goals in this blog but if anyone wants to know them I have no problem sharing. I created a spreadsheet to help me keep track of how I'm doing and I think that will help me remember each day that I need to do certain things if I am to have success with my goals.

As I was doing my Bible Study today I read Luke 19 and the story of Zacchaeus. There are several lessons to be learned in this story but today I was struck by the chance for a New Beginning that was given this man and the need to stay focused on God Given Goals. If you don't remember the story, let me paraphrase it for you:

Jesus was traveling through Jerico and Zacchaeus was one of many who wanted to get a glimpse of him. Zacchaeus was a very wealthy man, but not well liked. He had gained his wealth by cheating people as he gathered taxes from them. Tax collectors were considered to be the lowest of the low and no one wanted to be associated with them. But this tax collector had a desire to see Jesus. He was a short man and knew that it would be difficult to get a good look over the crowd so he ran ahead of the crowd, climbed up a sycamore-fig tree and waited to see this man who was causing a stir.

When Jesus arrived at the tree he shocked everyone by stopping and inviting himself to to the house of Zacchaeus. Many people thought Jesus was making a big mistake by eating with such a sinner as this Tax Collector. Jesus was ridiculed and his motives questioned, but He stayed focused on His Goals of coming "to seek and to save the lost" (verse 10). Of course, Jesus is God so He can stay focued, I'm a simple, sinful man, so I have an excuse for not following through with my goals, right? ;) I don't think so. I am amazed at the results of Jesus doing the Father's Will and ignoring the crowd; this dirty, rotten, cheating, theiving, low-down tax collector was changed and impacted lives by spending time with Jesus. His life was changed forever and he now had new God Given Goals.

It's amazing what happens when we truly spend time with Jesus and let His presence, power and peace affect our thinking and our way of living. This "Sinner" recognized his sins and truly repented of his wrong. How do I know he repented? Simple, He was changed. He didn't just say a few nice words, he went out and acted like a changed man. He paid back all that he had stolen, but not just what he stole, he gave back 4 times what he had stolen plus he gave half of his posseisions to the poor. Let me tell you, when a rich man gives away over half of his money and stuff, He has gone through a real change, real repentence, not just an emotional decision. This man was impacted and changed by his time with Jesus. As well it should be with all of us.

I am so thankful that God is giving me a second chance. A year ago I was making very selfish goals and looking for ways to cover up my sinfulness and selfishness. Through the course of 2012 God got my attention and began to draw me back. I'm still not perfect, but I'm climbing, I'm seeking and I'm accepting the invitation of Jesus to come into His presence each day. God has brought redemption, repentence and renewal to my life and I could never praise Him enough for this oportunity to Begin Again and go after the God Given Goals that I believe He has placed on my heart.

Where are you going in 2013? I hope you are on the journey toward God's Will for your life and not seeking selfish goals. His goals will not only lead to His Glory but to your satisfaction. I'm looking forward to what God will do this year and I pray that we will all take this new oportunity for a 2nd chance and stay focused on His Goals for us! God Bless!